Sunday, September 30, 2007

Dare to Dream?

I don't get nightmares that often. Once every couple of moths I get a really bad one, but I haven't seemed to have one like that for quite a while. Until this morning.

Dreams like that scare me. My body heat intensifies, and I'm constantly telling myself that its only a dream, its only a dream. I know I am asleep, but I am forced to watch the horrors before I wake again, to a happier world. I can feel myself trying to scream out for help, but it never works, my throat is dry and my voice long gone. Always the same.

I don't understand it.

Yet, as much as I wish it were the same, its strangely different. No, see I still get the rotten feelings of helplessness, but this dream, this horror, was not about me, but him. I had to watch him die to save me. The love of my life laying on the ground, dead. I couldn't save him, nor could I escape from watching. Every attempt at waking that usually works, failed me today.

Perhaps the world is trying to tell me something. That my fiance is going to die? I hope not. I only dare to think that it was only a dream.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Dreams can be horrible. Ever had sleep paralysis? Sort of sounds like what you described..